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Tom
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My summer after my freshman year in college, some buddies and I got together car-full of beer and other things and went camping for several days on my one friend's family's disused farm in rural Kentucky. We took about six rolls of toilet paper which we had misappropriated from the restaurant we worked at, just to make sure that we had enough. The bacchanal went well, but we quickly found that we didn't want to defecate in the woods, so every afternoon, we'd pile in the car and drive about ten miles into Russel Springs, where there was a down-at-the-heels Druthers whose bathroom, like their dining room, was unoccupied by customers. Must have been just before the chain disappeared. We felt a little guilty at first just using the bathroom, one after the other, then leaving. We had no money, though (we'd spent it on beer the moment we crossed the river; you could buy it at 19 then), so to compensate, we learned to enjoy the punk audacity of our flagrant and unrepentant bathroom-using. What I'm getting to is, as we drove away every day, we'd sing, "If I had my druthers, I could sh_t at all the others, but I'd ruther sh_t at Druthers restaurant!" And to this day, despite a lifestyle which includes regular cycling, hiking and camping, I stand by that conviction: I don't like going to the bathroom in the woods.
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